Doctor Who Five Word Fanfics
by Margaret Price
Summary: Just a bit of nonsense. No specific Doctor or era. These are addicting once you get started. If you thought drabbles were hard, try writing a fan fic in five words or less!
1. Just for fun

AUTHOR's NOTE:  
Thank you to Belladonna (dot) org for inspiring these.  
belladonna (dot) org/fivewords (dot) html

If you thought drabbles were short, try writing a fan fic in five words or less!

**

* * *

**

Doctor Who Five Word Fan Fics

**By Margaret Price**

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You understand?"

"Not a word."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Happy now?"

"No."

"Good, good."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I'm the Doctor."

"Sod off."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Hello. I'm the Doctor."

"EXTERMINATE!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I'm a Time Lord."

"Wanker."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"My TARDIS!"

"It's a Porta-loo."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Bigger inside than outside."

"Obviously."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Kiss me, Doc!"

"What?"

**…**

**…**

**…**

"Jack!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I was right!"

"Negative, Master."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Rose?"

"What?"

"Run."

"Not again."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You'll like it, K-9."

"Negative."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Let me explain."

"Don't bother."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Doctor of what?"

"Practically everything."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"He always like this?"

"Unfortunately."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"So smug, Doctor."

"I try."

**o-o-o-o-o**

Took scarves and K-9. – Romana

**o-o-o-o-o**

Gone out for chips. – Rose

**o-o-o-o-o**

Gone out for Rose. – Jack

**o-o-o-o-o**

Gone fishing. – The Doctor

**o-o-o-o-o**

Dear Diary,

Saved the universe.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Dear Diary,

Stole a TARDIS…

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I'll explain later."

"Yeah, right."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Daleks, Sontorans, Cybermen!"

"Christmas list?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

WANTED: Type 40 TARDIS manual.

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere…green."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Is it safe?"

"Probably not."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Give us a cuddle."

**…**

**…**

**…**

"Fantastic!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Dinner?"

"I don't do domestic."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Peri, move!"

"Watch it, Porky!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Resistance is…"

"I'll scream."

**…!**

"Go."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**HEY, YOU CAN DO THIS FROM CANON:**

"When I say run, run."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Your ratings just went up."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Wonderful fellow. All of them."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Contributed By Drox**

"What happened?"

"I'll explain later."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"EXTERMINATE!"

"EXTERMINATE!"

"EXTERMINATE!"

"EXTERMINATE! "

"EXTERMINATE!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Stupid ape."

"I heard that!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"No more Janis thorns. Ever!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Why celery?"  
"I _like_ celery."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Nooooo! Not the mind probe!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Carrot juice."  
"No, not again!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Mauve alert!"  
"Right. Let's go!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"These shoes! They fit perfectly!"


	2. New, Canon, Xovers

**MORE FAN FICS IN FIVE WORDS OR LESS.**

"Don't panic!"

"Okay, now panic!"

**o-o-o-o-o  
**

"The console's damaged."

"Excuses, excuses."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Jelly Baby?"

"Why, thank you."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What are you doing?"

"Improvising."

**o-o-o-o-o**

Gone for more fish. –Frobisher

**o-o-o-o-o**

Do Not Enter. Making Nitro.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Sorry didn't leave note. – Romana

**o-o-o-o-o**

Butterflies escaped. Back soon. – Doctor

**o-o-o-o-o**

Beat Halo. Go me. – Doctor

**o-o-o-o-o**

Beat Fitz. Go me. – Sam

**o-o-o-o-o**

Need ciggies and booze. – Fitz

**o-o-o-o-o**

Ran off with David. – Susan

**o-o-o-o-o**

Getting married. – Barbara and Ian

**o-o-o-o-o**

Having cyber sex. – Cyber Leader

**o-o-o-o-o**

**From Canon:**

"It isn't even remotely human."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Computers are very sophisticated idiots."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I cannot allow your interference!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"No one of consequence."

"Thanks."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Harry Sullivan is an imbecile!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What? ... No tea, Harry."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"It's stopped being fun, Doctor."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Now I know you're mad."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I'm a mouth on legs."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You feign ignorance, Time Lord?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Be your natural horrid self."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Adopt silent mode, Mistress."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Erase memory banks. Memory erased."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Must dash. Come back later."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Anybody remotely interesting is mad."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"HA HA HA HA"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Who is this terrible Zodin?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"The quotes are over, Doctor."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Well, fortunately, we're in England."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"That's an interesting philosophical question."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"We're perfectly harmless, unfortunately."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You speak treason!"

"Fluently!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Incredible power, unlimited rice pudding…!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Officially, I'm here quite... unofficially."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I do dabble a bit."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Never trust gimmicky gadgets!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"There should've been another way."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Careful, careful—I might explode!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"The Evil One!"

"Nobody's perfect."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Alistair, who is the Doctor?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Remember me to Gallifrey."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Time will tell. Always does."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Audio Drama Snippets:**

"Doc, did I _break_ something?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"The TARDIS is on strike!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Star Trek:TNG/Doctor Who Xovers**

Have run off with K-9. – Data

**o-o-o-o-o**

"We are Borg."

"EXTERMINATE!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Highlander/Doctor Who Xovers**

"There can be only—!"

**…**

**…**

**"**Oh."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Doctor Who/From Eroica With Love Xovers**

"The Seal of Rassilon!"

"Tacky."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Jack? What's under that uniform?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

STOLEN: Police Box, circa 1963

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I didn't say _play_ doctor!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

Dear Diary,

Have stolen Adric.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Ran off with Adric. –James

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You will obey me."

"Idiot."

**o-o-o-o-o**


	3. All The Doctors

**1st Doctor**

"You don't understand. Never mind."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Dear, dear. How very distressing."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**2nd Doctor**

"Ice Warriors are Martians."

"Rrriiiight."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Run, Jamie!"

"Not again, Doctor."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**3rd Doctor**

"I'm stuck. With, you Brigadier!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"It's intuition. Irritating, isn't it?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**4th Doctor**

"You have good taste."

"True."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"About that scarf…"

"Don't start!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**5th Doctor**

"Brave heart, Tegan."

"Shut up!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Where's Turlough?"

"Doing something sneaky."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**6th Doctor**

"I'm a genius."

"Modest too.

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You even dress loud."

"_**WHAT!"**_

**o-o-o-o-o**

**7th Doctor**

"Blow up that ship."

"Ace!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Oh, Mel!"

"Sorry. Big spider."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**8th Doctor**

"Wait, wait, wait…"

**…**

**…**

**…**

"I'm waiting."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Smith and Jones? You're joking?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**9th Doctor**

"So much work."

"Worth it."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"No flirting!"

"I said hello."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**10th Doctor**

"Barcelona. The planet, that is."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Hello. I'm..."

"The Doctor?"

**…**

**…**

**…**

"Exactly!"

**o-o-o-o-o**


	4. My Madness Moves On

Peri, buying new coat –Doctor

**o-o-o-o-o**

Planet for sale, cheap. – Slytheen

**o-o-o-o-o**

FOR SALE: Union Jack T-shirt.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Companion wanted. No screamers, please.

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What's it do?"

"No idea."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"The end of civilization."

…

…

…

"Tea?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Raxacoricofallapatorius!"

"Now you're showing off."

**o-o-o-o-o**

All sins forgiven. – Emperor Dalek

**o-o-o-o-o**

Stuck in Cardiff. Send help.

**o-o-o-o-o**

"DO NOT BLASPHEME!"

"Oh, shit…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Worship me, human."

"Oh, Goddess…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Are you an idiot?"

"Umm…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Doctor! This is your lifess…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Mel, don't scream."

"No promises."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"That's my TARDIS."

"I'm underwhelmed."

**o-o-o-o-o**

Dear Diary,

Finally ditched Tegan.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Susan gone. Bloody teachers next.

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Doctor?"

"Danger."

"Daleks?"

"Definitely."

"Damn."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Rose…?"

"Mickey."

"Come back?"

"No."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Sonic screwdriver!"

"Shelves over there."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Bananas?"

"I like bananas."

"Sigh."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Wicked, Doctor!"

"Don't encourage him."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I'm the Master."

"Bloody Goths."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What's that?"

"That's my dog!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You're a good bloodhound."

"Negative."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Can't you bark?"

"Negative, Master."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Batteries not included, Master."

"Fuck."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"For you, C'rizz."

"Turtle wax?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Doctor Who?"

"If you like."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Rani, I'm your Avon Representative…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What secret Time Lord technique?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Doctor…!"

"Rose…!"

…

…

"What's that?"

"Jack!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Two hearts and…what else?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**MORE CANON FODDER**

"Bung a rock at it."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I aimed for the eyepiece."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I wonder how_ that_ happened!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Your boyfriend."

"Not anymore."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I've remembered. I can dance!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You_ are_ the weakest link!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Defabricator? What's it do?"

…

…

…

"Oooh."

**o-o-o-o-o**


	5. A Wildtyme In The Audios & More

**A Wildtyme In The Audios**

"I don't fancy this incarnation."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You're drunk."

"I'm always drunk!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Come here, lovey."

"Iris!"

+ sigh +

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Oooo, you're dead cuddly.

"Iris!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Doctor! It's me!"

"Oh no."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Alcohol bottles?"

"Only empty ones."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Who's he when he's home?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Give us a kiss."

"Iris!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Canon Fodder Continued**

"This is getting very silly."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"He started it!"

"Did not!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

**More General Silliness**

"Mr. Davros? Meet Doctor Kevorkian."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You understand now?"

"Wasn't listening."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Rose Tyler, phone home!"

"Mum!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"An intergalactic cell phone."

"Wicked."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Unfinished Thoughts**

"Put very simply—"

…?

…!

"Stop laughing!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Did I ever mention—?"

"Yes."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Would you like to—?"

"No."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Why don't we—?"

"Forget it."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I think that's—"

"Name dropper."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Doctor Who/From Eroica With Love Xovers**

"Human."

"NATO."

"TCE!"

**KA-BLAM**

"Magnum."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You will obey—"

**KA-BLAM**

"Idiot."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Loot! You stole that!"

"Naturally."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"NATO intelligence."

"Contradiction in terms."

**o-o-o-o-o**

Replaced Casio-mini with K-9 – James

**o-o-o-o-o**


	6. Rose's TeeShirt Slogans

**Rose's Tee-Shirt Slogans**

I don't do tentacles.

Ever.

**o-o-o-o-o**

These _are_ my real appendages.

**o-o-o-o-o**

I have ridden the Vortex!

**o-o-o-o-o**

Don't ask me.

I'm lost.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Dangerous Earthling.

Do not molest.

**o-o-o-o-o**

I don't scream.

I decapitate.

**o-o-o-o-o**

Me, Jack, the Doctor.

OT3

**o-o-o-o-o**

Don't know.

Don't care.

Okay?

**o-o-o-o-o**

Dalek Destroyer.

You feel lucky?

**o-o-o-o-o**


	7. Heard On An Audio Drama Or Several

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please note that this little bit of nonsense is not a completed work of any kind. It's just some random thoughts that my son and I have been bandying about. There is not rhyme of reason as to how or when the spirit will move me to write more. And in the midst of all this, I had a computer crash and have been trying to reorganize the document files I was able to save before my hard drive went up in flames, metaphorically speaking.

**

* * *

**

Heard on an Audio Drama or several

"All hail Frobisher!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Is that a Gumblejack?"

"Maybe."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Did you find it?"

"Eventually."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You cramp my style."

+ silence +

**o-o-o-o-o**

"No expenses without a receipt."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"It's rather _grimy_, isn't it?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I jumped aside gracefully."

**+ CRASH+**

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You have the something."

"Umm…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"He got away!"

"Good riddance."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Will you be quiet!"

…?

…!

"_**DAVROS !"**_

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You are the feeblest contestant."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"DALEKS DO NOT SING!"

**+ BLAST+**

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You know you're mad?"

"Maybe…"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Evelyn…?

"I'm out of cocoa."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You won't be tediously noble?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Hello! I'm the Sandman."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"The Intergalactic Song Contest."

"What?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Stop him or it's Bang-Bang-A-Boom!"

(This is hyphenated on the Audio. So there.)

**o-o-o-o-o**

"But why?"

"I was drunk."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Beware the pits of Angvia."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Canon Fodder**

"Gallifrey? Is that in Ireland?"

**o-o-o-o-o**


	8. Trading Fridge Notes

**TRADING FRIDGE NOTES**

Turlough. Three way?-- Tegan, Nyssa.

-o-

Tegan, Nyssa. When, where? – Turlough

-o-

My room. Bring toys. – Nyssa

-o-

Stop that you lot! – Doctor

-o-

Stuffed shirt. -- Tegan, Turlough, Nyssa

-o-

Am not! -- Doctor

-o-

Prove it. -- The Three Amigos

-o-

That's not funny. -- Doctor

-o-

Join us. -- Tegan, Turlough, Nyssa

-o-

Doctor joins companions. TARDIS explodes.


	9. Just A Few Random Thoughts

"The dawn of time."

"Again?"

**OoOoO**

"Why're we here, again?"

"Picnic."

…!

**OoOoO**

"Colorless…"

"Not in that coat."

…!

**OoOoO**

"Friends? Enemies?"

"Both, probably."

"Bugger."

**OoOoO**

"Don't touch that!"

"Too late."

**OoOoO**

"Did you see that?"

"Probably."

…?

**OoOoO**

"What did you…? Harry!"

"Oops."

**OoOoO**

"We've materialized where?"

"Don't ask."

**OoOoO**

"You will obey…"

"Sod off!"

**OoOoO**

"Where's the nearest bar?"

"Benny!"

**OoOoO**

"Now you see me…"

"Frobisher!"

**OoOoO**

"Rose's been on eBay again."

**OoOoO**

"My sonic screwdriver's on eBay!"

**OoOoO**

"Doctor?"

"Yes…?"

+ whisper +

"No!"

"Oooh."

**OoOoO**

"It's the end."

"Bloody repeats."

**OoOoO**

"It's just a trap, Ace."

**OoOoO**

"Who's this Michael Grade, Doctor?"

**OoOoO**


End file.
